some day my prince will come!

And some day is coming soon!! At this time next month, we should be together again! It's important for me to remember that it's my prince that will be returning. Not Prince Charming. The army puts a significant amount of focus on preparing spouses for the return of deployed soldiers and the not-so-great changes they can expect to see in their loved ones. Things like being quick to anger and talking in a way that's appropriate with fellow soldiers or in the chain of command, but not necessarily a way that's appropriate for or appreciated by the soldier's spouse! We're warned that patience and understanding will be important tools for us after the honeymoon period that occurs when our spouses first return, during the readjusment period that follows.

I believe that there's another kind of change that can occur that I haven't really heard anyone discuss. I can't imagine that I'm the only one to romanticize or idealize my husband in his absence. In my mind, he has changed to a man who is thoughtful in ways he never was before (not to say he's not thoughtful, just not in the ways I imagine) and who will do things with me that he's never done before. Awhle ago, I was taking Scooter on his evening walk and I saw a husband and wife walking hand in hand as they walked their dog. My immediate thought was, "I can't wait until Jerry comes home and he and I can have walks like those." Almost as soon as the thought crossed my mind, I actually laughed out loud. Who did I think was going to be coming home to me?! Jerry has never consistently walked with me and Scooter. Perhaps in the early days of our relationship he was more eager to do things like that, but certainly not in years. Not that he never walks with us. But it just struck me that there's a tendency for me to romanticize my husband and turn him into an imaginary perfect husband while he's not here to remind me of his...ahem...flaws. Or perhaps I should say, the unique things that make him Jerry.

As the time draws closer to me welcoming Jerry back, I need to remind myself that the person returning to me is still the same person who left, at least at heart. I may have to adjust to some personality changes that have occurred due to deployment and may have to remind myself not to compare him to the Prince Charming Jerry that has developed in my head. And I remind myself every day of the things about him that make me love him. And I know that those things have not changed.