colors

Now to address my reckless abadonment of the blog and all its regular readers. Those of you who know me well probably assumed that I've been too busy with work to write and those of you who know me really well may have guessed that I've been a little downy clowny. Both of these things are true. I've been working long hours at work and have found myself with very little time to do fun or relaxing things. I've even had very little time to do things like keep my house clean! As for the downy clowny...while I hoped that the separation of deployment would get easier, it really hadn't. Weekends have become extra lonely, compared to the busy weekdays in which my hours are filled and I'm kept preoccupied. The weekend hours drag and I'm very aware of how much I miss having Jerry in my life (or rather, in my presence) every day. The distance between us has taken its toll in many ways. We haven't often communicated very positively with each other, each of us dealing with our own frustrations that this deployment presents. And let me tell you that long distance arguing or conflict is no fun! It can never end with a hug! But we've been plugging away and holding on to the love that we have for each other to get us through this. I know that we'll have made great accomplishments as individuals and as a couple, having gone through this separation. A friend at work, who has been through several deployments, has said many times that she thinks that she and her husband value each other more and don't take things for granted because of the life the army forces us to lead. And I think that's true.

My downy clowny days are now becoming fewer and farther between as I begin to look forward to the two-week visit from Jerry that is now only weeks away! As of Sunday, he's been gone sixteen weeks. But as of Sunday, I only had about five weeks until I get to see him again. Having that to look forward to has gone a long way in raising my spirits.

So....Colors. I think that living the Army lfe is a little bit like being Catholic (or at least my non-Catholic perception of being Catholic!). There are rituals that become part of Army life that may seem strange to an outsider (like all the standing and sitting and reciting in a Catholic mass), but that become comforting reminders of your chosen path (or faith). In the Army, rituals sometimes come in strange places. For instance, if you attend a movie at a theater on-post, the movie will always be preceeded by the national anthem, during which the audience stands in silence. But the ritual that really speaks to me is Colors. At 1700 (5:00pm for you civilians), everything outside on post stops for the lowering of the flag for the day. The song "To the Colors" is broadcast throughout post and everyone stops in their tracks until the song concludes. Cars stop in the roads and soldiers get out to stand and face the flag. I'm not often out and about during Colors, but I happened to be out a few times recently at 1700 and was reminded how much I appreciate Colors, how much I appreciate taking a moment to stop. A moment to reflect. It's a good opportunity to step back and put things in perspective. And it's a good opportunity to reflect upon the the hard work ands acrifices of our Soldiers and ther families and the pride I feel to be a part of it, even (or maybe especially) now, while I'm missing Jerry. I think we could all use scheduled moments of reflection (or at least scheduled moments when it's okay to just stop)in our lives!