word on the street....

Word on the street (the not-so-anonymous family street) is that some of my readers get "pissed" when they arrive at giantpantz.com eager to read a new entry, only to find that the keeper of the blog has been slacking and the top entry is the same one that's been sitting there for days! I do try to update frequently, but sometimes it seems like I don't have anything worth writing about. Other times, I feel like I have so much to write about that I don't know where to begin and ended up writing nothing. This week, I've fallen into the latter category. Though not a lot is actually happening, my brain and my emotions have been working overtime analyzing where I am in my life, what my goals are, and how I'm going to achieve them. And a "lucky" few of you have been kind enough to tolerate my ramblings on the subject this past week (mostly Ma and Kathy, the best mom and best friend I could have - Ma falls into both categories).

I feel like lately my entries have taken a brooding turn. And I guess that's a fair representation of my current state. I'm trying (and perhaps too hard) to figure out what makes me work. What makes me be the best Heather that I can be. I feel like I have this great opportunity while I'm not working to really focus on myself, my physical and emotional well-being. In fact, that's the primary reason that I'm not working, at my husband's insistence. Yet I find myself dwelling on my discontent with where I am (mostly weight-wise) and unable to move forward to feel like I'm accomplishing something and utilizing this time to its fullest. Sure, I have small victories, but it's hard for me to be satisfied with those, when I'm looking for something more drastic. The best I can do is keep plugging away and to set goals that are attainable. And though I'm primarily talking about weight-loss, I think I need to identify some other goals as well. I'm just not a person who's content to just live life where I am. I need to be moving toward something. Otherwise, I just flounder. I guess that's something; that I recognize that I need that in my life.

Again, fret not. I'm not downy clowny. Just a girl with a lot of time on her hands to think about things too much, overanalyze her every thought and move, and be her own harshest critic :-) But I'm also a girl who feels great every day that she makes it around without a car (relying on her own two feet and her bike), who is lucky enough to be living in a beautiful country, and who has the best damn family and friends on the planet. A girl who has a lot to be thankful for and a lot to smile about!

In other news, Jerry had to leave today for a four day thing "in the field", one of the many pre-deployment things he'll have to do. I'm a wuss and hate being away from him for any amount of days, but it is particularly annoying when we're told that day that he has to go away. Basically, I got a call from Jerry this morning that he was going to come home for a few hours and then have to leave until Sunday. Blah!

Jerry safely arrived at his destination. And in case you're concerned or curious, "in the field" does not in this case really require any "roughin' it" kind of activities. He's staying at someone's house tonight and most likely a hotel for the rest of his time there. So don't fill yourself with pity for him quite yet! In fact, you might want to throw your pity my way...I have to miss my bowling date because of this surprise trip!! And I love bowling nights!

When Jerry called to say goodnight, he hit me with some pretty big news...we may be moving to our new post in Graf sooner than expected. Way sooner. We had expected to be moving there following Jerry's deployment. So we were probably looking at well over a year away. Due to some efforts being made to get Jerry promoted faster ( a very good and flattering thing), we may be looking at moving as soon as arrangements can be made to have our stuff moved! Jerry delicately broached the subject with me, worried that I would be reluctant to move so soon after arriving at this post. Honestly, I don't yet feel any strong ties to this post or this community, though I love the German town of Schweinfurt. I don't have a job here and most of the people I know, I know through Jerry. So it may even be better for me to move now, before I grow too strongly attached (I'm not a big fan of good-byes). I think that this will be more of an uprooting experience for Jerry as he moves to a different office, with a different team of people. So it's something that he'll need to consider. Fortunately, it's something that he can weigh in on, as can I. His superior officers asked him to discuss it first with me and then let them know if he'd be interested in the earlier move date. So right now, it's something that's a little up in the air. But I'm sure I'll be writing about it as soon as I have any definite news!

This may sound silly, but I'd be pretty excited to decorate a new place again! Especially knowing that the housing at Graf is all new and the grounds are not as littered as here. It's almost like a dream come true....organizing and decorating two new places within a few months of each other. Sweet!