inspired. or side-stepping the last six months.

Despite my good intentions (and they were good!), I never made it back to the blog to describe our three-week visit to the States in December/January. And at this point, it seems a little silly to go into any great detail. The weeks were packed and we needed a vacation after our vacation, but we feel so lucky to have spent time with our loved ones, in addition to spending some quality time to ourselves. Our adventures took us from Atlanta to Disney World to Asheville to Ohio to Massachusetts and Connecticut. And all by car! Fortunately, it was our brand spankin' new car that we picked up in Florida, my auto baby, Maleficent Gant (a Mazda CX-7). Other highlights were Disney World, a week with my fabulous stepdaughter Elyssa, some new bling (a beautiful 'upgraded' engagement ring), several days with Jerry's family, a zombie New Year's Eve party with so many people that I love, time spent with my family, a visit with my wonderful grandparents, and new tattoos that were extra special because my talented cousin did them for us. And that's just the quick version! Obviously, it was time well spent and much needed after the year of deployment and separation.

In one of my last posts, I described our newest fambly member Moxii. She is growing so fast and is truly living up to her name. I think that she might be in her terrible twos right now. Every day she finds something new to get into. Lately, she discovered that we'd let her go outside if she scratched at the glass door to let her out. It was great because she'd go right out and do her business. But now she just does it because she wants to go outside...about 50 times a day! On the second floor, our windows go to the floor so she's taken to scratching at them to0. And she discovered that while doing that she can also pull down the curtains! Her favorite toy is Jerry's UNCA jacket, which she drags around the house and wraps around things so that she can tug on it better. No matter how many times he takes it from her, she always pulls it back down and carries it around the house with pride. Of course, if Jerry really didn't want her to have it, he'd hang it in a place that she couldn't reach. Moxii has also discovered that she really enjoys chewing on many different items. Items such as pillows, shoes, and papers. She definitely makes our life more fun and interesting. Her funny antics and my obsession with them are turning me into that crazy cat lady. Except with dogs.

Hmmm. I had hoped this entry would be about inspiration. But it seems that instead of side-stepping the last six-month period, I'm briskly stepping through its puddle and dragging you with me! And I'm not even breaking it up with pictures! (Well, I wouldn't want them to get muddy and wet!)Moving right along....

In late April, Jerry's mom came to visit us for a month. Her visit was a great excuse to go out and do stuff! We enjoyed several fests and castles. And lots of ice cream. Jerry's mom discovered a real love of Radlers (beer mixed with Sprite). I don't think she was quite prepared for the culture shock, but ultimately she had a good time. We did have a pretty incredible weekend, during which we saw Cirque du Soleil (!!), the Hofbrauhaus, Chiemsee Palace (one of Ludwig II's unfinished palaces...modeled after Versailles), and a three-country bus tour! While Barbara was here, Jerry also completed his first marathon! By the end he had jello legs, but he made it! He's now training for a marathon in Berlin in September. Actually, right now, he's in the middle of a 100-mile ruck march in the Netherlands! That man puts me to shame! (Though I could totally kick his butt in an organizing marathon!!)

In April, I took the GMAT and applied to an MBA program. And was accepted! I'm going to be completing the coursework online and working on a concentration in Health Care Management. There will be more on that when I make it to 'Inspired'. I've been tremendously busy at work and have been given greater responsibilities. This has been really exciting for me, because when I first arrived in Germany, I thought that I would have very little opportunity to find a rewarding and challenging job. Thank goodness I was wrong! It can be tough being an army spouse and feeling like you are just tagging along on your husband's ride. I still have to move when he moves, but I've been carving my own place in this system and will be able to move within it as my own person as well. I think most everyone knows that I'm pretty independent. So the idea of riding my husband's coattails did not sit well with me. Fortunately, I am able to ride my own coattails, though it's very difficult to contort myself into that position!

That's just about all I can take of you right now! But I'll be back soon. And this time I mean it. Because I want to tell you a little bit about inspiration!

where does the good go? part two.

I may not know where the good went, but I know the moment that I found it again. And this picture captures that moment! I don't think my smile could have been any bigger or my heart any fuller during those first moments that I saw Jerry when he returned from Iraq! During the deployment, both Jerry and I did a bangup job of tucking the good away into parts of ourselves that we kept from each other. Instead we brought out the ugly and gave each other large doses of it! There were many times when I thought the good had gone from us entirely and that his return would just cement the fact that there was no good left between us. The deployment was hard. And it brought the worst out in us in terms of communication skills and expectations of each other. Did we learn from it? I hope so. Though I hope the true test of that never comes...another deployment.

I can say without hesitation that the good is back. Perhaps we were hiding the good from each other in order to protect it. Our reunion brought the good back. And not just in the superficial honeymoon way that was to be expected. The good runs deeper and stronger now as we face each day together and live our lives together once again. That doesn't mean that we're eating rainbows and pooping butterflies! We still have our issues. And I still have my temper! But we're working on things together instead of clashing and struggling against each other across the miles. I think that we have weathered something quite trying and, as a result, have grown considerably as a couple. I think the trial has brought us closer to each other than we've ever been. I'm not exactly sure I'd say that I'd do it all again to get to this place, but I'm glad that we're where we are. That we're together. That we've found our good and it's growing.

Now that I've given you the emotional update following the turbulent deployment, I can move on to less heavy subjects, such as our three week vacation to the states! Stay tuned...

fambly

It's been four months since I last updated the GiantPantz blog. It's been on my mind quite a bit, but finding the time to do it when I'm not feeling obligated to check off other things on my t0-do list has been challenging. You may have given up on me, and I wouldn't blame you. But I'm back and hope to post updates on a more regular basis.

It's amazing how limited my time is now that Jerry has returned. While he was away, hours stretched out like days. But now that he's home, I find that there are never enough hours in the day to take care of everything that I want to AND to spend quality time with the family, which has recently grown to include a precious little pug puppy! Meet our sweet Moxii:

We brought her home on Tuesday and she's a spunky 17-week old tiny pup (who likes to piddle on the floor!). Scooter's slowly warming up to the new baby, but has definitely been a little pouty. He also seems to think that he's puppy-sized now that Moxii's here...he can often be seen smushed up in the tiny puppy bed, for which he is way too big! Moxii loves big brother Scooter and follows him everywhere. Scooter acts like he's annoyed by it, but I think she's growing on him. Scooter's definitely embraced his role as rule enforcer. When he sees Moxii doing something that she shouldn't or hears one of us reprimanding her for doing something she shouldn't, he's there in a flash to stop her from her naughty behavior...too funny!

The other big (and obvious) news is that Jerry is home! He came home on 5 November and now his absence seems like a distant memory. Of course, the first days back were amazing! But it's interesting how quickly our spouses can be annoying and disruptive of the life we created without them! I say 'we' because I have friends whose husbands were deployed at the same time as Jerry and we all experienced similar feelings. During the year absence, we develop our own schedules, our own way of doing things, and our own way of running and ordering our homes. Then those men came home and messed up all our order, bringing with them smelliness and making it oh so challenging to keep our homes as nice and neat as when they were gone! In the weeks following their return, my friend and I exchanged daily griping about our messy husbands! Learning how to share our space again can be quite difficult! Of course that doesn't detract from the happiness of having our soldiers home; it's just another aspect of the post-deployment reintegration.

I have much more to share of the adventures of the last four months, but now the day is winding to a close and I have to be up early in the morning. It's good to be back :-)