shopping, destruction and getting old

shopping.
Sometimes the army gives us financial surprises. And often times they're surprises in a good way. I expect that the longer we're in the army, the less of a suprise these things will be. But on Friday, it was a surprise when I checked our bank account and discovered that we had received a dislocation allowance, which was a chunk of money given to us because I moved in order to be with my husband. Happy to have some extra money, we decided to do a little shopping this weekend (after putting some of our surprise money into savings)! We've been thinking about getting a Playstation 3 for some time now and decided that we wanted to go ahead and get it, so that Jerry can get a little enjoyment out of it in the next week before his month-long training exercise and in the few months before deployment. Usually, they're in good supply at the PX. But naturally this weekend, there was not a PS3 to be found. We called the next closest PX and they were out too. Not to be thwarted, we (and here I use 'we' to mean 'Jerry') called the Graf PX and were told that they had plenty in stock. That's all we needed to hear to take an impromptu day trip to Graf! Not only were we able to pick up the PS3, but Wall-E was showing at the post theater there and we were able to see it. PS3 goodness and robot love all in one day!!

Ooooh. Aaaahhh. So pretty (not the Scooter hairs that have already found their way to the gleaming surface). Though game play will be fun on the PS3, we primarily want to have it for its Blu-ray DVD and upconvert DVD player functions. Alas, the Blu-ray selection at the PX was pretty skimpy. And we can't go to stores on the economy because of regional formatting. So now we have the PS3, but no Blu-ray movies for it. Thank goodness for bestbuy.com, which just started delivering to APO addresses! We have watched a few regular DVDs and the upconvert works great!!

In addition to our supersweet gaming/movie purchase, I got a set of stamps for scrapbooking! I finished the wedding scrapbook a few weeks ago and it came out great (Well, I think so!)! Here's one of the pages:

Now I'm working on a new (non-wedding) one and can't wait to use my new stampies!


Our final purchase was a set of hair clippers. Jerry has decided to put his trust and his hair in my hands! I guess that's not saying much, because he's in the army. In the event of catastrophic hair results, we can just shave it all off and he'll still fit right in! Which us brings us to the next section...


destruction.

These clippers may look harmless enough. But this is a weapon of follicle destruction and, as such, is louder and more vibrate-y than anything I've ever seen! Honestly, they scared the crap out of both me and Jerry. We both got through the late-night hair cutting experience alive, but in the light of day, there were a few funny patches that encouraged ridicule of both me and Jerry by his co-workers. Which means that I have to wield that monster again and tame the wild patches!! Wish me luck!


With that experience in mind, it may surprise you to find out that I decided to cut my own hair too! Not with the clippers, though! I hate it when my hair gets too long on my neck. So, using a pair of mirrors and a pair of scissors, I trimmed up the back. Can't say it's the finest looking cut, but considering the circumstances, I think that it came out pretty freakin' good!!


This last bit of destructive news is sad. My plant that has been on the brink of survival was viciously attacked by an army of eensy weensy spiders. They looked like little tiny moving specks of dust. But the massive web network that had been constructed throughout the leaves (despite having been cleaned of webbage completely a few days before) let me know those evil guys were spiders. Spiders intent on killing my baby. And I had to give in to them. Damn you little tiny spiders that look like specks of dust (but not the cool specks like in Horton Hears a Who)!!!


getting old.
Yesterday, I needed to get Scooter some new food. He's a picky pug and I haven't been able to find his favorite food here. So I looked at the other foods by the same brand (Nutro Naturals) and came to the conclusion that the best bet for my Scooter was the senior formula. The senior formula!! Hard to believe that this little guy that I've had since he was a mere weeks old is now old enough for the senior formula!! The bag says that it's for dogs over five years old. Scooter's seven, so he definitely qualifies! The food is in tinier pieces and looks a lot like kitty food....maybe that's why Scooter likes it so much....he thinks he's getting away with stealing kitty food! Or maybe it's because he has old rotten teeth and the pieces are easier to chew! Whatever the case, Scooter loves his old man food. Now his food matches his gray facey face!

Also in the getting old category is our 1991 VW. As I drive very little (I usually walk or ride my bike.) and Jerry's looking at being away for a year, we're probably going to be selling this little guy. So before he's no longer a part of our family, I wanted to show him off a little!

fresh start

So, I've been really struggling with my weight. Since I've come to Germany, I haven't really put on any weight. But I haven't lost much either. Though I'm considerably more active, I've only made minor dietary adjustments and haven't seen results. I had been hoping for moderate weight loss, but this is practically nonexistent weight loss. And it's frustrating. I've lost weight before, and it finally occurred to me that maybe I should stop trying to find a different way to lose weight and return to what has worked so well for me. Today I started a two week detox, phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. My body responds really well to limiting my carbohydrate intake. And I find it a lot easier to do that if I go through a short period where I'm barely consuming carbohydrates at all. For the next two weeks I'll be eating a lot of veggies and lean meats and then will start adding in some whole grains and fruits. While I'm on this restricted diet for the next two weeks, I'll be limiting my exercise, as I won't really be fueling my body properly for intense workouts. Once I've started adding carbs, I can start a pretty intense exercise schedule. I'm excited to be taking control of this and to be getting myself back to a place where I feel strong and healthy and feel good about how I look. I do not look forward to giving up yummy foods or the first three days of phase 1. From what I remember, they suck suck suck. I've only gone through half of the first day, and I already I'm finding it less than enjoyable. But I'm determined to stick with it!

growth

I'm excited to announce that all my plants are still alive!! This really is something special, as I don't exactly have a green thumb! One of the plants is challenging me a little bit, but the others are actually thriving! Take a look at my green babies:

This guy (above) is the one giving me a little trouble. It lost its unique orange blossoms, which was supposed to occur. But then it kept getting covered in little spider webs, which I'm pretty sure is not good for the health of the plant. My mom recommended something for that and it seems to be working so far. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will survive until the next blossoming season.

The lucky bamboo is doing great. It's sprouting and not dried out at all. I think these overcast days are doing great things for filtering out too much sun.

In non-plant news, we found out yesterday that Jerry will be going away for the entire month of August for a training exercise. Basically he's going to pretend Iraq, where the living conditions of Iraq are simulated in preparation for the real deal later this year. As much as I dislike another month apart, I appreciate Jerry being as prepared as possible for his time in an area of conflict. (Of course, my first questions were how do you do laundry and how often do you get to clean yourself? He hadn't really thought about it, but upon my prodding admitted that he planned to pack all of his underwears. I think that's a smart move.) I also think that the month-long training is going to be good for me to get a sense of what being here on my own is going to be like. I have some projects lined up for myself and hope to find at least some part-time work. As much as I've been thinking that I'd really like to work, I'm not sure I really want to go back to a full-time job. There's so much that I do around the house (and that I enjoy doing), that it's almost like I already have a part-time job.

This week continues to be a fun one for me and Jerry. Tonight we're going to see Iron Man at the on-post movie theatre. We saw it when it first came to post a few months ago and liked it so much that we're going to see it again. We love our movie dates!

always pass on the left...

You may have noticed that I was a little angsty last week! All of that changing army info, combined with PMS, did not make for a very happy Hev. (I might also put a little blame on the fact that I'm reading the Twilight series, which is chock full of teen/vampire angst!) Though the PMS still rages (more in the form of enjoying some honey roasted peanuts....yumm: sweet and salty!), the angst has dissapated considerably! I'm not saying that I'm now carefree and that deployment will be a walk in the park, for Jerry or for me, but I am saying that right now things are pretty good! Sometimes it's the little things that make me happy day to day: kicking Jerry's butt in some Dr. Mario, having a nice walk with Scooter-bug, just being silly with my husband. So putting the angst on the back burner for the time-being, I'm thoroughly enjoying time with Jerry, this beautiful country, and the greatest pug ever!

Speaking of the pug, I've noticed that he only passes on the left. We take our mile walk every day. I often walk ahead of him as he takes care of business (Not when he's doing number two - I stay close by so I can clean up after him like a responsible pet mom!) and without fail, he always passes me on the left to continue his walk, despite the fact that staying on the right would keep him in the grass and provide more opportunities to lift his leg and mark his territory. Strange.

the best laid plans (or: the army keeps us on our toes!)

Army life is just full of surprises, with details and plans changing by the minute. This week alone, we've been thrown several 'fun' changes of schedule. I'd already mentioned the surprise trip for Jerry, which he found out about the day he was scheduled to leave. When Jerry and I are apart, he's pretty great about keeping in touch with me and updating me about what's going on. Between the first and second days' reports, his expected Sunday departure time had changed drastically. Initially it looked like he'd be home in the early afternoon. By the next day, it looked like he wouldn't be back until Sunday night. After the first few days, Jerry was told that his weekend schedule would include getting out pretty early on Saturday (6:00pm) and starting later than usual on Sunday (noon). With that info, Jerry and I decided to take advantage of the extra personal time by me taking a shuttle to the post where he's training so that we could spend Saturday evening and Sunday morning together. I made it to the post on schedule and he was able to meet me briefly and get me settled at the hotel. When he went back to training, I walked around, visited the PX and then lounged in the hotel, watching a mini-series I brought with me (Anne of Green Gables - no matter how old I get, I'll always love it!) and playing online poker. As it approached 6:00, I got a call from Jerry who had just found out that instead of ending at 6:00, it was going to be more like 11:00! There went our evening plans! Well, it didn't run that late...he was back at the hotel before 10:00. But instead of returning at noon today, he was required to be back at training by 8:30. And while all of that is frustrating, I'm not really complaining for me. The little time we spent together was nice and included a late night walk in the rain. And I was able to leave my little bubble for awhile and explore a new place. I do feel bad for Jerry, though, who has had several very long days. He said that it's not unlike what he'll be doing in terms of hours when he's deployed. No real weekends. Just shifts off for sleeping and limited personal time. Honestly, I don't know if I could do it.

As I mentioned in a previous entry, we also found out this week that we might be moving considerably sooner to our next post. But until it's been set, it's not really worth even beginning to make plans. I'm starting to learn that these things can change from minute to minute, day to day. And until we have written orders, I can't count on anything being certain. Which is something I need to keep in mind when I get new or conflicting information from Jerry that has been passed down. I tend to react pretty emotionally or to latch onto things as being set in stone when, in fact, those things could change at any moment. Specifically, as new information comes forward about his deployment, I find myself getting very upset because I had already built an idea in my mind about how it was going to be, based on previous information. For instance, he had initially given me a four month window for his departure. Many other soldiers had assured me that it would really be at the end of that period. Which sounded good to me...four extra months before having to face the hardship of being separated under the circumstances of deployment. Jerry had also initially been told that because of the job that he does, he would only be looking at a six-month deployment, rather than a more standard 12, 15 or 18 month tour. I hate being away from Jerry for even a few days, but I felt that six months seemed a lot more doable to me than one of those longer tours. Well, now that he's starting to get pre-deployment training, he's starting to receive timelines. And now, it looks like he'll be leaving before the end of the year and being deployed for twelve months. Jerry told me this news over the phone a few days ago and it put me over the emotional edge.

The idea of twelve months apart is frightening to me. I'm scared of Jerry returning and us being strangers to each other. And that's on top of the fear of him being in danger's way every day that we're apart. It's a lot to digest. And it's at this point that I realized that I need to take a step back. It's one thing to be worried about the future and to want to prepare myself so that I can handle it better when the time comes. It's another thing to let the worry eat at me when I don't know anything for certain and my husband is still here. I need to be enjoying the time we have together and taking positive steps to make the separation better. So rather than getting weepy all the time (I gave into that for a few evenings) and feeling like it's the end of the world, I'm going to seek out deployment support groups now and start looking to build a network for myself in earnest. Of course I have my wonderful network of friends and family that I know I can turn to by e-mail, by phone or by a visit to the states. But I want to have a life that's mine here too, one that includes friends and activities of my own. I don't want to be just an appendage of Jerry's.

So I'm going to start putting myself out there in the coming weeks, sampling some of the post's group offerings and attending some workshops on getting a civilian or federal job. It's easy to stay in my comfort zone and say that there aren't people that I've really been interested in meeting or getting to know. It's much harder to push myself to seek people out. But that's what I'm going to do. The library hosts a book club, which might be a good place to start for me.

In addition to being introspective and examining myself, I've taken the past day to start examining this post that will be our new home, whenever that time comes. It's very different than Schweinfurt, in ways both good and bad. It's a sprawling post, several times the size of Schweinfurt. Because of that, post traffic is made up almost entirely of cars. In my walks, I saw very few other pedestrians and zero cyclists. The installations that make up the Schweinfurt post are smaller and set in a larger town. There, people are always walking or riding bikes to get from installation to installation or from installation into the town of Schweinfurt. It seems that life on the Schweinfurt post integrates American and German living styles. When I'm on the Grafenwoehr post, I feel more like I could be on a post in America (apart from the architecture). That will be an aspect that I will miss when we leave Schweinfurt. On the plus side, the Graf post itself boasts a lot more green and is much more scenic. It also has large and new facilities, including the PX and commissary and a fitness center. The grounds are immaculately kept and overall the post just seems cleaner (I'm a big fan of clean!). Being a larger post, there are also more housing options, more job options and greater opportunities to meet people and build that network I'm so desperately needing.

I've taken a lot of words to say that I think I can find happiness here. At either post. And that being in the army is challenging me to face some of my worst demons (loneliness, impatience and my own emotional reactions to things). I hope that these challenges Jerry and I face will help me to learn to take things in stride and to have greater faith in our future, despite the present difficulties. I'm sure this will be a long learning process!

clarification

Should've known I'd get in trouble for that last entry!! There are LOTS of people that I miss, but I have not lived near most of my closest friends and family for years and years and years. So I'm used to missing yous guys (including the one who gave birth to me, even though I was upside-down). Elyssa gets special mention because I do normally see her in the summer. Just not this summer.

And for those of you who haven't received calls from Hev, please understand that it's a little difficult with the time difference. By the time it's a reasonable hour to call the States, it's usually about the time that Jerry comes home. And I'm a little selfish when it comes to my Jerry time. But please know I love and miss all of you and really appreciate that you take the time to read my little bloggy blog!

things i miss...

Well, the first thing isn't really a thing. It's a someone. We've been lucky enough to have Elyssa with us for the past two summers and summer without Elyssa just doesn't seem the same :-( I have to do all of my crafty projects alone and don't have anyone who will watch Legally Blonde with me. She recently sent me some pictures and, as always, I find it hard to believe that this is the same person as the little girl I met almost three years ago. It's hard to believe that in a few months, she'll be starting seventh grade. And will be turning 13!! She's becoming such a smart and beautiful (and tall!) young woman and we're so proud of her!

My deodorant. My favorite kind is not the easiest to find in the states and impossible to find here.

Lancome products. Not carried by our PX.

Dunkin Donuts. This is something that Jerry's going to be missing very soon, as we're on the last of the coffee beans that I brought to Germany.

Receiving phone calls from friends. While I can call whoever I want as part of our unlimited calling plan, it's just too expensive to make calls from the states to me. So the phone rarely rings.

Best Buy. I miss working there (I miss working period) and I really miss the great DVD deals. We love building our DVD collection but we just can't do it at PX prices. Don't get me wrong, the PX has great prices for most things, and it's tax-free shopping. But Best Buy kicks PX butt in the movie pricing department.

A strong dollar. The weak dollar makes doing anything on the economy extraordinarily expensive and makes it difficult to take advantage of being in another country, in terms of travel and tourism.

Romano cheese. I'm guessing this exists somewhere. I just need to look harder and learn the German word for Romano.

Mostly little things (except Elyssa), but things I miss.

word on the street....

Word on the street (the not-so-anonymous family street) is that some of my readers get "pissed" when they arrive at giantpantz.com eager to read a new entry, only to find that the keeper of the blog has been slacking and the top entry is the same one that's been sitting there for days! I do try to update frequently, but sometimes it seems like I don't have anything worth writing about. Other times, I feel like I have so much to write about that I don't know where to begin and ended up writing nothing. This week, I've fallen into the latter category. Though not a lot is actually happening, my brain and my emotions have been working overtime analyzing where I am in my life, what my goals are, and how I'm going to achieve them. And a "lucky" few of you have been kind enough to tolerate my ramblings on the subject this past week (mostly Ma and Kathy, the best mom and best friend I could have - Ma falls into both categories).

I feel like lately my entries have taken a brooding turn. And I guess that's a fair representation of my current state. I'm trying (and perhaps too hard) to figure out what makes me work. What makes me be the best Heather that I can be. I feel like I have this great opportunity while I'm not working to really focus on myself, my physical and emotional well-being. In fact, that's the primary reason that I'm not working, at my husband's insistence. Yet I find myself dwelling on my discontent with where I am (mostly weight-wise) and unable to move forward to feel like I'm accomplishing something and utilizing this time to its fullest. Sure, I have small victories, but it's hard for me to be satisfied with those, when I'm looking for something more drastic. The best I can do is keep plugging away and to set goals that are attainable. And though I'm primarily talking about weight-loss, I think I need to identify some other goals as well. I'm just not a person who's content to just live life where I am. I need to be moving toward something. Otherwise, I just flounder. I guess that's something; that I recognize that I need that in my life.

Again, fret not. I'm not downy clowny. Just a girl with a lot of time on her hands to think about things too much, overanalyze her every thought and move, and be her own harshest critic :-) But I'm also a girl who feels great every day that she makes it around without a car (relying on her own two feet and her bike), who is lucky enough to be living in a beautiful country, and who has the best damn family and friends on the planet. A girl who has a lot to be thankful for and a lot to smile about!

In other news, Jerry had to leave today for a four day thing "in the field", one of the many pre-deployment things he'll have to do. I'm a wuss and hate being away from him for any amount of days, but it is particularly annoying when we're told that day that he has to go away. Basically, I got a call from Jerry this morning that he was going to come home for a few hours and then have to leave until Sunday. Blah!

Jerry safely arrived at his destination. And in case you're concerned or curious, "in the field" does not in this case really require any "roughin' it" kind of activities. He's staying at someone's house tonight and most likely a hotel for the rest of his time there. So don't fill yourself with pity for him quite yet! In fact, you might want to throw your pity my way...I have to miss my bowling date because of this surprise trip!! And I love bowling nights!

When Jerry called to say goodnight, he hit me with some pretty big news...we may be moving to our new post in Graf sooner than expected. Way sooner. We had expected to be moving there following Jerry's deployment. So we were probably looking at well over a year away. Due to some efforts being made to get Jerry promoted faster ( a very good and flattering thing), we may be looking at moving as soon as arrangements can be made to have our stuff moved! Jerry delicately broached the subject with me, worried that I would be reluctant to move so soon after arriving at this post. Honestly, I don't yet feel any strong ties to this post or this community, though I love the German town of Schweinfurt. I don't have a job here and most of the people I know, I know through Jerry. So it may even be better for me to move now, before I grow too strongly attached (I'm not a big fan of good-byes). I think that this will be more of an uprooting experience for Jerry as he moves to a different office, with a different team of people. So it's something that he'll need to consider. Fortunately, it's something that he can weigh in on, as can I. His superior officers asked him to discuss it first with me and then let them know if he'd be interested in the earlier move date. So right now, it's something that's a little up in the air. But I'm sure I'll be writing about it as soon as I have any definite news!

This may sound silly, but I'd be pretty excited to decorate a new place again! Especially knowing that the housing at Graf is all new and the grounds are not as littered as here. It's almost like a dream come true....organizing and decorating two new places within a few months of each other. Sweet!

glass half full...

The wine glass, that is! Friday is here, and looking back it's been a good week. Nothing particularly exciting has happened. And honestly I've been pretty lazy... thirty lunges early in the week left my legs hurting too much to make it to the gym! I've spent some quality time with my husband and I've spent some quality time on projects that I've been itching to start. I've managed to sort through all of my photos (non-wedding this time) and have them organized and ready to go into albums. And if I were just focusing on one project at a time, they would probably already be in their albums. But I was so excited about a few other projects that I have three projects partially completed. I also sorted through and organized everything I have to make our engagement/wedding scrapbook. I can't wait to start it! Maybe that's why I'm doing the other projects at the same time....to build up my scrapbook excitement :-) And, at long last, I'm making preparations to get copies of the wedding DVD out to family and friends. We should be receiving the final version soon and can't wait to share it!

Speaking of the wedding, on Monday Jerry and I had been married for 9 months. That seems so hard to believe! With so much of that time spent apart, it doesn't quite seem like an accurate measurement. Stranger still is that in three short months, it will be a year! So much has happened in this first year of marriage. In some ways, I hope that future years will be a little less eventful. But I'm so thankful to be where I am now. Thankful for the life we share and hopeful for a long future together. I'm a sap, I know.

Well, I've given up on us getting storage furniture anytime soon for our DVDs. It looks like it's going to take a trip to IKEA with some people who know Germany better than we do to remedy our storage problem. And I'm uncertain when that trip will happen. So I'm including pictures of the living room, even though there are stacks of DVDS along the back wall. If you look closely, you can see them peeking up behind the couch:

As you can see, we have a lot of photographs on the wall and on the shelves, most of which are from the wedding. It's helpful that our wedding colors (black and red) go so well with our living room! You can also see my sun mirror, a present from my mom when I first moved into one of my places in the DC area. That single piece is the decorative item that to me most makes my house feel like a home. Not only is it beautiful, but it reminds me of Ma every time I look at it.

Here you can see more of the clock collection and a lot more photographs! We have a pretty nice entertainment set up with our big ol' television, video game systems, and of course Rock Band, the video game that even I enjoy playing (I love the drums!).

This is basically the same as the first picture, but here the curtains are open and you can see the amazing light that fills the room.

Here are a few embellishments on the wall in the entry way:

So now you've pretty much seen the whole place. We're settling in quite nicely and it definitely feels like home now!

I recently changed the comment settings, so now anyone can leave a comment here. Before you had to have a gmail account, but that shouldn't be the case now. So please feel free to leave comments!

life is like a box of chocolates...

....you never know what you're going to get. That's not entirely true. You know that on a few days, you're going to bite into a chocolate and your tastebuds (and teeth) are going to be offended by the incredibly hard and stretchy pink center of that nasty strawberry (or other fruitish) filling. Those are the days you'll want to spit out the chocolate and try again. Saturday was one of those days. It seemed like Jerry and I just couldn't fit together. Days like those are so frustrating to me. Other people can step back and give each other a little space and know that some days are just this way. Me, I get upset and dwell on every little miscommunication, replaying all the subtleties of the day. Not one of my best qualities, I'll admit. You also know that a few of the chocolates are going to be rich and amazing, filled with caramel and nutty goodness. Those days are like August 6, 2005, the day I met Jerry. Or my wedding day. They're even like the night I spent around the dining room table in May with my family and my good friend Jason. Just thinking of those days brings a big ol' smile to my face and I can still taste the richness of the chocolate lingering on my tongue. You also know that most of the chocolates will be enjoyable, not necessarily special or decadent, but yummy all the same. Yesterday was one of those days. The bitter taste of Saturday's nasty strawberry chocolate had disappeared and was replaced by a sweetness that comes from spending a nice time with my husband, unencumbered by my dwelling on insignificant details. Of course, now you can buy whole boxes of your favorite chocolates. But that seems a little like cheating, doesn't it?

So, you may ask, "What's the deal with Hev carrying on (and on) (and on) about this box of chocolates?" Well, I got that quote stuck in my mind. And in typical Hev fasion, instead of just letting it pass through, I thought about it way more than most people would. You may wonder why it was stuck in my head to begin with. Last night, we had the pleasure of seeing a USO concert on the Schweinfurt post, featuring the Lt. Dan Band. If you've seen Forrest Gump, I'm sure you remember Lt. Dan, played by Gary Sinise (now on CSI: New York). (If you live in a cave and haven't seen Forrest Gump and have no idea what I'm talking about, both Lt. Dan and the chocolate quote are from the movie.) For the past several years Gary Sinise has been doing USO tours, entertaining the troops with the Lt. Dan Band, of which he is a bass-playing member. This is the first USO concert that I've seen and not surpisingly, it got me very emotional. Lt. Dan and all of the members of the band repeatedly expressed their gratitude for our soldiers. One of the songs that was played was written by a band member after her first experience on post and was very moving. As we go about the act of living life day to day, I forget the importance of what we're doing here. Not only the importance of what our soldiers do. But the importance of the family and friends that support our soldiers. Last night, I realized that I still have an outsiders view of army life. Having seen clips of USO concerts on television in the past, I always had a surge of pride for our troops and a feeling of sorrow for the people who led the lives that welcomed USO concerts. I never thought in my wildest imaginings that I would be on the receiving end of one of those concerts. And even standing there last night, in some ways I find myself still clinging to the idea of it not really being my life. Which makes me worry that I will not be prepared when the time comes to face the harsher realities of living the life we've chosen.

This whole post may lead you to believe that I'm a downy clowny. And really, I'm not. Perhaps a little pensive. But not downy clowny. I think it's good to be reminded of the greater 'why we're here.' And good for me remember the reasons why Jerry and I are here. Every day, I see Jerry becoming a stronger man, in so many different ways. And every day, I make a little progress in my own self-improvement. This is a good experience for both of us, as individuals and as a couple. One that's pushing us both and enriching our lives every day.

new wheels!

My bicycle finally came in this weekend. Actually, it came in last week. But it was in pieces. It was built and ready for me to pick up on Saturday. I walked over to pick it up and then rode it home. I must say that having a bike is going to make me force myself to walk anywhere again! Getting home from Ledward Barracks was a breeze on the bike and will make it so much easier to run quick errands. As it is, I've barely been using a car to get around. Now I'll be able to use it even less....woohoo!! As you can see, Scooter also approved of the bike:

Exhausted from modeling with the bike, Scooter spent some downtime on the balcony, basking in the sun:

number two...

No, I'm not going to go into any details about the bowel movements of anyone in our household! Instead, I'm going to brag about my awesome husband, who got a second place trophy in a 4th of July 10K run! He ran the hilly course in a little over 49 minutes....not bad for an old man!! I had planned on doing a 5 or 10k walk while Jerry was running. But my walking partner bailed! I ended up walking about 2 kilometers with the the wife of someone I know, which was really nice. Even if it wasn't the workout I was expecting.

Unfortunately, the intense running ruined Jerry for the day. He was really too wiped out to do anything else. I was pretty tired out myself as we had to be up pretty early for the run, after staying up a little too late the night before. We spent much of the day napping and only left the house for some gas and wine (the essentials!).

The night before the run, we had people over for our first ever poker night....and my first ever poker game. And while I didn't get a trophy, I made out pretty well :-) We played low stakes poker, since none of us really had any desire to lose a lot of money. It's more about the fun of the game. I bought in for ten dollars and if I had lost it all, I would definitely have felt that I had well over ten dollars worth of fun! But I didn't lost it all...at the end of the night I had over $40, which I can only assume is beginner's luck. Aside from the game, it was nice to have people over and a nice excuse to bake some chocolate cinnamon bars, which were a hit!

who needs beer goggles?

I'm not going to lie. Most of the time I hate the way I look. When I was on my way to losing over 100 pounds, that wasn't the case. Every day, I looked at the mirror and saw a smaller me and it felt good. But now that some of the weight has been gained back, those same numbers on the scale that made me feel good on the way down when I looked at myself now make me feel disgusting and see myself only as fat. Except after I work out. Beer goggles may make people seem more attractive, but nothing makes me like the way I look better than a hard workout and a sheen of sweat! No matter what my size, when I step off the elliptical machine, panting and dripping, I can't help but smile at my reflection. Watching this same body then go through a routine of muscle-building exercises with free weights makes me feel even better. It's amazing how much my image perception is influenced by my feeling of accomplishment, the pride in a great workout, the knowledge that I'm making my body stronger and fitter. My brain knows that really, my body hasn't changed that drastically in less than an hour. But my eyes see a Heather that they like and appreciate. Which is a pretty powerful motivater!

On a completey different topic, check out my boys being cute again!